Charlie Sheen Haiku

This post is thanks to @taradublinrocks (http://twitter.com/taradublinrocks) who I got the "Charlie Sheen Haiku" idea from...

Car wrapped around tree,
Hooker is dead in backseat,
I'll just buy new ones.

Booze and drugs to cope,
Porn stars for fake affection,
Daddy don't love me.

Snorted some flour,
Could've sworn that it was coke,
Now can't make bundt cake.

Drugs and booze don't help,
Can't fill the void in my soul,
Prostitutes help though.

Just got to hotel,
Trying to get a penthouse,
Maybe a room too.

I can't feel my face,
Smile for the camera,
Another mugshot.

You watch them at night,
I do them all of the time,
Porn stars are awesome.

Backseat is sticky,
Full of gut-wrenching odor,
I need to shower.

Had to take drug test.
Of course I did not pass it,
Melted the bottle.

Go buy my movie,
Need more royalties for drugs,
Coke is expensive.

Nose won't stop bleeding,
Liver beginning to fail,
Living the high life.

Hooker's everywhere,
Pint of vodka, pound of coke;
Favorite breakfast.

Penis might fall off,
From nasty rampant disease,
It was well worth it.

Wake up in vomit,
White powder all over nose,
Trust me I am fine.

Burning when I pee,
Constant itching in my pants,
Gotten used to it.

Starting to crumble,
Maybe it is time to quit,
More coke? Nevermind.

Snort, snort, drink, vomit,
Ready to start all over,
Need to call dealer.

Alcohol and drugs,
Porn stars all over the place,
What is wrong with this?

Syringes on floor,
Three still stuck in my forearm,
When does filming start?

No rehab for me,
I can do this by myself,
Is this a dumpster?

Clothes smell of stripper,
Head pounding from hangover,
Tuesday afternoon.

Eating at diner,
They asked if I'd like more coke,
What's this dark liquid?

Face down in a ditch,
On Hollywood Boulevard,
It sure is crowded.

Coke and prostitutes,
Daddy's job made me famous,
President someday?