Roblog Sports

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Charlie Sheen Haiku, Part Deux

Drugs fuel me all day,
You think gas is expensive?
Try filling my tank.
 
Looked in the mirror,
Did not recognize my face,
Without the white line. 

Frost bite on my nose,
Knew it's too good to be true,
Skiing's not for me.
 
Chug down a bottle,
Devour a whole eight ball,
Oh, you wanted some?

Nose candy and booze,
Porno stars and prostitutes,
Daily shopping list.
 
Two and a half girls,
Did not expect that at all,
An extra penis.
 
Swerving all over,
Speech is slurred and can't think straight,
Sobriety sucks.
 
Beer cans everywhere,
A pile of dead hookers,
When is trash pickup?
 
Piles of cocaine,
Gallons of expensive booze,
And the problem is?
 
Flaccid in old age,
Crushed Viagra in my coke,
Take a line off this.

Wait for my comeback,
My career will be revived,
Right after my heart.
 
White powder in sight,
I lost all my self-control,
Now I'm out of salt.
 
A dead, bloated corpse,
Found face down in a dumpster,
We all have our goals.
 
My show got cancelled,
Just flushed millions down the drain,
Wish I'd snorted it.

Your plight entertains,
Ranting and raving all day,
Please don't die, Charlie.

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