I think that way too many of us go through our day-to-day lives without appreciating the simple fact that we have day-to-day lives. We are in space, floating around. There is no outer-space. There is only space and we're living in it. On a tiny fleck of astronomical dust.
We're doing circles around a fairly average, if not small, mass of hydrogen atoms that are fusing to create helium atoms due to the force of gravity and in the process expelling extra energy that flies 93 million miles to heat and sustain life on a minuscule collection of dust particles that somehow spawned self-aware beings.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Wired to Communicate
The lines that connect us to the Internet also connect us to each other. We sit in front of small terminals everyday that are constantly connected to millions of people around the world. The Internet is the epitome of the human need for communication.
When we communicate we affect each other's brains even when we simply communicate through a purely mechanical process. So, we are actually causing some sort of physiological change, but from thousands of miles away.
When we communicate we affect each other's brains even when we simply communicate through a purely mechanical process. So, we are actually causing some sort of physiological change, but from thousands of miles away.
The Three-Eyed Monster
Sometimes I hate driving. Sometimes it feels like the world woke up just to make me angry. The traffic lights wait for me. Mocking me as I drive closer and then changing just as I'm about to make it, turning me red with anger. Then it just sits there and stares. Stares at me as my life passes me by as quickly as the cars zooming across. My life drones on like the constant noise of the radio...
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Excuse Me, Do You Work Here?
"No, ma'am, actually I don't. I'm actually a vet at a rehabilitation center for seeing-eye dogs who have been run over by cars. Of course, they've shown that being a seeing-eye dog may not be their best option, so after we heal their broken bones we re-train them to be companion dogs for sick children with adorable speech impediments. It's a lot of hard work, but it's worth it to see those brave little fighters look up at you with their big eyes and say, 'Fankew'.
However, when I get some time away from that job I enjoy going into retail stores and pretending to work there. It's kind of a hobby. I just go to the store, look at what the employees wear, then I buy clothes to match and come back and pretend to work there. You'd be amazed how long I've 'worked' somewhere before they noticed. This is actually my seventh month at this job.
Oh, the name tag? I ordered a bunch of them online and I bought a label maker to print labels for them. Pretty much every store uses the same basic name tag so I usually just have to spray paint it and it works just fine. The RF Scanning Gun? I ordered it off EBay. It doesn't really work, but it does make beep noises so that's all I really need. I just walk up and down the aisles re-arranging things and pretending to scan stuff every once in a while. The clipboard is my favorite, though. Carrying around a clipboard just makes me feel like I'm doing important stuff and I don't have time to look around for something to write on.
Does it get boring? You'd think it might get a little boring, but for some reason it just makes me feel alive. The screaming children, the rude customers, the monotony...It just makes life worth living. If I wasn't able to put this uniform and name tag on, carry this RF scanner and clipboard around, and bend down pretending to scan things like I was when you asked me if I worked here, I don't know what I'd do.
In fact, I've been considering quitting my vet job to see if I can get a job doing this full-time. Can you imagine that people actually get paid to do this? The constant shrieks of small children being ignored by their cell phone addicted mothers has always been enough to make it all worth it, but to get slightly above minimum wage at the same time? I'd be in heaven. Everyday would be like waking up to a dream.
But, I'm kind of stuck in my current job because of a tragic accident at the crosswalk between the cane store and the Braille book store, so until I can get those dogs rehabilitated and putting smiles on the faces of sick children I'm just going to have settle with pretending to work here in my spare time. But maybe, just maybe, someday soon I can actually get a job here. But in the meantime, no ma'am, I do not work here."
However, when I get some time away from that job I enjoy going into retail stores and pretending to work there. It's kind of a hobby. I just go to the store, look at what the employees wear, then I buy clothes to match and come back and pretend to work there. You'd be amazed how long I've 'worked' somewhere before they noticed. This is actually my seventh month at this job.
Oh, the name tag? I ordered a bunch of them online and I bought a label maker to print labels for them. Pretty much every store uses the same basic name tag so I usually just have to spray paint it and it works just fine. The RF Scanning Gun? I ordered it off EBay. It doesn't really work, but it does make beep noises so that's all I really need. I just walk up and down the aisles re-arranging things and pretending to scan stuff every once in a while. The clipboard is my favorite, though. Carrying around a clipboard just makes me feel like I'm doing important stuff and I don't have time to look around for something to write on.
Does it get boring? You'd think it might get a little boring, but for some reason it just makes me feel alive. The screaming children, the rude customers, the monotony...It just makes life worth living. If I wasn't able to put this uniform and name tag on, carry this RF scanner and clipboard around, and bend down pretending to scan things like I was when you asked me if I worked here, I don't know what I'd do.
In fact, I've been considering quitting my vet job to see if I can get a job doing this full-time. Can you imagine that people actually get paid to do this? The constant shrieks of small children being ignored by their cell phone addicted mothers has always been enough to make it all worth it, but to get slightly above minimum wage at the same time? I'd be in heaven. Everyday would be like waking up to a dream.
But, I'm kind of stuck in my current job because of a tragic accident at the crosswalk between the cane store and the Braille book store, so until I can get those dogs rehabilitated and putting smiles on the faces of sick children I'm just going to have settle with pretending to work here in my spare time. But maybe, just maybe, someday soon I can actually get a job here. But in the meantime, no ma'am, I do not work here."
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